I love crocheting. Love it. Not just like it.  

But sometimes, the numbers of orders that I have at any one time sit heavily on my shoulders - will I get them done in the timeframe that I've said? Can I get them out before a customer contacts me to chase them up? Why do I keep advertising when I can barely keep up with the orders that I already have?

Earlier this week I read a post from a lady who was advertising the items that she made in her crochet business. She said that she didn't take orders any more because it all got too much. Instead, she now just makes whatever she wants and then sells them. 

At the time that I read her post, I remember thinking that yes, I know what it's like to have the amount of orders and the pressures that come with that, weighing on you. And how nice it would be to just make items on your own terms. 

Before this lockdown, I hadn't been able to make items that I want, in about 3 years. All the items that I've made have been ordered and prepaid. So whilst I am so grateful that people like what I make and want to buy them, there is a small part of me that would just like to make something for the hell of making it - not because someone has already paid me for it but purely because I wanted to make it. 

I felt that frustration today when I was finishing off Jimbo the Giraffe for a customer.  Instead of basking in the joy of doing what I love, all I could think about was how behind I was in getting my orders out. 

But when I'm feeling like that, I've learnt that there is an easy fix. I open a bottle of wine,  do some crochet admin work on my computer, and remind myself that I'm just one person and I'm doing the best I can. And that's all I can do. 

When crochet becomes work instead of play, is it time to give it up?